Dear B’nai
Mitzvah Families,
Welcome to the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah Process. The next few years
promise to be very exciting for you and your family. We say that our Torah is an Eytz Chayim, a Tree of Life. As your child embarks on the path towards
becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, it is as if a new bud forms on this holy tree-a bud
that will flower on the day your child celebrates his/her becoming a Bar/Bat
Mitzvah. This flower, of course, serves
as proof that the Tree of Life is growing.
As you begin this journey with your child, you help to strengthen the
Tree of Life. And it is our hope that
you all will continue to do so long after your child becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
All of us at Ramat Shalom
are excited to celebrate this important rite of passage with you. May this experience deepen your connection to
Judaism and your roots here at Ramat Shalom.
This manual contains a great
deal of information related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom. Please read it carefully and hold on to
it. You will refer to it a great deal as
you get closer to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.
We look forward to working
with your family.
Sincerely,
Rabbi Andrew M. Jacobs
Cantor Natalie M. Young
IMPORTANT MESSAGE
Dear 6th Grade Parents,
Please read this manual thoroughly. After you do so, please sign the bottom of
this form and return it to the office by
If you have any questions about anything you read in the manual, please let us know.
All questions concerning the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process, except questions related to financial and/or administrative issues, should be directed to Rabbi Andrew, who can be reached at 954-472-3600 or rabbiandrew@ramatshalom.org.
All financial and/or administrative questions should be directed to our
Synagogue Administrator, Alison Hain who can be reached at 954-472-3600.
Thank you.
William Freund
President, Ramat Shalom Board of Directors
Name of Bar/Bat Mitzvah:
Date of service:
Time of service:
Your name (parent):
Your signature:
Your e-mail:
(important: we communicate by e-mail – if you do not use e-mail, please let us know)
Today’s Date:
Please mail this back to
This form must be returned
by November 1st, 2007.
12. These requirements must
be fulfilled in order for a child to become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom. Failure to complete these requirements
will prevent a child from becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
13. An Important Reminder: The B’nai Mitzvah process is designed to meet the individual needs of each child. It is important that you share with us any issues that might make this process particularly challenging for your child so that we can design a program that meets his/her needs.
Date Assignments
Bar/Bat Mitzvah service dates are assigned once a child completes the fourth grade at Ramat Shalom. New members who have a child that has completed the fourth grade at the time they join, will receive a date when they complete their membership application. Dates are assigned by the Ritual Committee. Requests to change a date must be made in writing and sent to the synagogue office. The Rabbi, Cantor, Education Director, and Synagogue Administrator do not handle date assignments or changes. An effort will be made to accommodate all date changes, but we cannot guarantee that each request will be met. Please note that date changes cannot be made after your child has started his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring (approximately 6 months before his/her service). If you need to move your assigned date, it is imperative that you contact the synagogue office immediately. Please do not wait to do so.
The
Shabbat of Your Child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah
You have either been assigned a morning Shabbat service, which we call Shacharit, or a late Shabbat afternoon service, which we call Minchah. The Minchah service concludes with Ma’ariv (the evening service) and Havdalah (the ceremony that marks the end of Shabbat).
Services always start on time. They will not be delayed because a guest is late. Therefore, if you feel that your guests might arrive late, please state on your invitations that the service begins 15 minutes earlier than the times mentioned above.
Families should be seated in the front row of the sanctuary by the time the service begins. Once the service begins, please do not greet your guests at the sanctuary door or get up to hug a family member you have not seen for some time. During the service, focus your attention on your child.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah should be on the bimah and all material that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will need for the service, including his/her siddur (prayerbook), Haftarah, and speech should be placed underneath the reading table before the service begins.
Kabbalat
Shabbat Services
Community
Involvement in Services
Our services are open to the entire community. While we will celebrate your child becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you, please note that there might be another family at the service celebrating an aufruf or a birth, saying kaddish, or marking some other significant event in their lives. No other child will become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service that has been assigned to you unless arrangements have been made by you for this to happen.
One aliyah at each service will be reserved for a Ramat Shalom congregant. The Ritual Committee will assign this aliyah.
Board
Usher
Each family will be assigned a Board Usher, a member of our Board of Directors, who will make certain that the sanctuary is in order on the day of the service and will greet guests as they enter the building. This is a volunteer position – please keep this in mind. Board Ushers will contact families two weeks before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. The Usher will arrive 30 minutes before the service – no earlier. If you are having a photographer, we can open 90 minutes before the service as long as pre-arranged with the office. Please confirm this time with the Usher when s/he calls you.
Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family will be expected to usher, along with a Board member, at one Shabbat service prior to your service. You will be assigned a date.
Dress
Code
Ramat Shalom is not in the business of telling you and your guests what to wear to a service. However, we do expect that you, your children, and your guests will dress in a manner appropriate for a synagogue service. This means nice, neat, clean clothing. Overly short skirts and dresses, low-cut blouses and dresses, shorts, jeans, sneakers, baseball hats, athletic attire, and t-shirts with statements on them are not acceptable. Women are expected to have their shoulders covered during the service. As the service is not a cocktail party, formal attire – tuxedos and evening gowns are discouraged during the service.
The B’nai Mitzvah Workshops are designed to make the B’nai Mitzvah process an enriching educational process for all members of the family. Ramat Shalom is committed to making certain that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a series of meaningless, foreign rituals, but rather, a powerful rite of passage for everyone involved. In an effort to make this happen, the workshops will address issues related to becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Special attention will be paid to the prayers, music, and rituals of the Shabbat services. In addition to this, the workshops will give families the opportunity to study the stories of the Torah together. Prior to their service, each family will be expected to read and understand the Torah portion that will be read on the Shabbat of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration and share both the content of this portion and their own interpretation of this portion with the other families in the workshop series.
Workshops are held throughout the year. Your family’s attendance is based upon the date of your service.
· If your service is between January 2008 and June 2008, you will attend the workshops that run between August 2007 and December 2007.
· If your service is between August 2008 and December 2008, you will attend the workshops that run between January 2008 and May 2008.
The workshops meet
approximately once a month on Shabbat.
They begin at
In addition to the Shabbat workshops, parents will be expected to attend 3 Thursday night workshops. At these sessions, the Rabbi and Cantor will assist you in service planning and writing your D’var Torah. The workshops are led by either the Rabbi or the Cantor.
Possible B’nai Mitzvah Workshop Topics
Bringing the story to life…
Rabbi Andrew will walk you through the history and the stories of the Torah, explaining the significance of your Torah portion (parasha). We’ll take out the Torah and read from it. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student will get a chance to hold the Torah and carry it around the room. By the end of this session, you will see that becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not simply about reading from the Torah for the first time, but, more importantly, about bringing our ancient story to life, sharing it with those we love, and keeping it a vital part of our communal life.
Cantor Natalie will walk you through the numerous prayers, readings, and songs that make up the Shabbat morning and afternoon services. Whether you know Hebrew or not, you will leave this session having a better sense of what we read, sing, and say during a service. Creative readings that relate well to traditional prayers will be shared during this session.
Jewish “Stuff”
The tallis, the kippah, the kiddush cup, the mezzuzah, the tzedakah box, etc…..Lots of Jewish stuff! What’s the significance of all of this stuff? Rabbi Andrew will explain the symbolism of these important Jewish objects. He’ll also introduce us to some less familiar objects and explain their function. We’ll even make a family tallis.
Mock Service
Want a chance to run through a Shabbat service and ask questions as we do so? Here is your chance. With Cantor Natalie’s help, each of you will help lead a mock service that will resemble the service at which you will celebrate your child becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
Change
the World
Jewish life does not stop after a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. It just begins. Once someone becomes a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, they take on many important responsibilities – one being to help change the world. During this session, Rabbi Andrew will guide families through ancient Jewish stories and teachings that explain that each of us is responsible for making the world a better place. Tikkun Olam, healing the world, is a basic Jewish concept. Come learn about this concept and explore ways that your family can actively take part in tikkun, healing.
Torah, Haftarah, T’filot (Prayers) Tutoring
Approximately six months before a child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, s/he will begin the tutoring process. The tutoring process will allow your child to learn how to chant his/her Torah portion (from the Torah scroll) and Haftarah and learn how to lead the required t’filot (see Appendix). Over the course of the six-month tutoring period, your child will also work on carrying the Torah and the “choreography” of the service. The first 4 sessions will be the Blessings Class. The next 12-14 sessions will be with your assigned tutor. The remaining 6-8 sessions will be with the Cantor.
Each child will be provided with a copy of the Torah and Haftarah portions that s/he is responsible for learning. Students are expected to purchase their own siddur which they are to use during their tutorial sessions. Each child will be provided with a CD of their Torah and Haftarah portions. In addition to this, each child will receive a CD which will contain all of the prayers that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is expected to lead.
Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah prepares for his/her tutoring sessions
at home. Parents need to make
certain that their children study at least 15 to 20 minutes each night so that
they are ready for their sessions.
Please keep in mind that your child’s tutorial schedule needs to fit into your summer plans. Contact the Cantor to discuss your summer schedule at least one year before your child’s service.
It is crucial that you let your child’s tutor know of any learning challenges that your child may have. Understanding individual needs will enable us to work optimally with each student.
Tutorial sessions cannot take place while your child
is in
Tutorial sessions may be rescheduled if 24 hours notice is
given. If this notice is not given,
additional tutorial sessions might have to be scheduled. Additional tutorial sessions (in excess of 26
appointments) can be scheduled only after financial arrangements have been made
with the Synagogue Administrator. At the
first tutorial, each student’s Hebrew skills will be assessed. Based upon each child’s assessment and
his/her
In addition to the class service, students are responsible
for attending a number of Shabbat Services throughout the year. Regular attendance at services is essential
to the student’s understanding, identification, and learning about the service
and its liturgy. All students are required to Pull Their Card in the lobby of the
sanctuary.
Grades K-3
3 services
4th
Grade
4 services
It is required that 4th grade families attend the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah
B’nai Mitzvah Dates will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah
5th
Grade
4 Friday Evening Services
5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services
It is required that 5th grade families attend a Fall B’nai Mitzvah Orientation and the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah
Torah and Haftarah Assignments will be handed out at the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah
6th
Grade
4 Friday Evening Services
5 Shabbat Morning or Afternoon Services
6th graders will participate in the Spring Model B’nai Mitzvah
Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops (some students might not attend until 7th grade)
7th
Grade
Attendance at assigned B’nai Mitzvah Workshops and services that follow (not all 7th graders will have to attend these workshops because they might have attended them during the end of their 6th grade year.)
Inasmuch as becoming a
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is essentially the integration of the “child” into the adult
Jewish community, families are expected to attend B’nai
Mitzvah services prior to their child being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Most students will be invited to many such
services in the course of the year, but it is just as important that parents of
B’nai Mitzvah students attend services at Ramat
Shalom so that they can better understand the unique nature of our services
and, thereby, help to fashion their own distinctive service experience.
Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah will give a d’var Torah (word of Torah) at his/her service. This d’var Torah will use the Torah reading to capture a unique aspect of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The Rabbi will work with each student on his/her d’var Torah. Approximately four months before their scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, the Rabbi will set up an appropriate schedule with each student. The Rabbi will meet with the sixth grade class to work with them on the writing of a d’var Torah.
At least one parent will give a d’var Torah at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. This d’var Torah will allow parents to use the Torah portion that is read on the Shabbat of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service to capture the way in which they feel about their child. The writing of this d’var Torah will be discussed in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Workshops. The Rabbi will be available to discuss this d’var Torah and he will be happy to set up a series of meetings with each family to work on this d’var Torah.
We ask that you give a great deal of thought to this section of the service. Your child/ren will spend many hours preparing for the service. Please do the same.
Each family is
expected to be involved in an ongoing mitzvah project (a community service
project). Families are encouraged to be
creative and find a project that is meaningful to them. Examples of wonderful Mitzvah Projects can be
found at www.ziv.org.
Projects should be selected by the beginning of the 6th
grade. They should not be
“completed” by the time the service takes place; rather, they should continue
indefinitely. The Rabbi will monitor
each family’s progress and is available to answer any questions families might
have about their projects. Once you have
chosen a project, please fill out the Family Mitzvah Project Worksheet and
submit it to the Rabbi.
Guidelines for
Family Mitzvah Project
The giving of a gift
to the synagogue in honor of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a tradition at Ramat
Shalom. Please contact our Synagogue
Administrator, Alison Hain, for more information – alison@ramatshalom.org.
Many family members, friends, and even the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, might choose to honor this momentous occasion with a donation to Ramat Shalom’s many funds, the purchase of a garden paver or a plaque on the Tree of Life.
Tallis
and Kippah
It is expected that
families purchase a tallis (prayer shawl) and
a kippah (yarmulke) for their child to use during his/her Bar/Bat
Mitzvah service. The significance of the
tallis and kippah will be discussed at a B’nai Mitzvah
workshop. It is tradition at Ramat
Shalom to have the parents and/or the grandparents present the tallis to the
Bar/Bat Mitzvah during the service. It
is our hope that the tallis and kippah will be used on a regular
basis by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah after the service.
Kippot and tallitot will
be available for guests.
Families will use
our siddur, Kol HaNeshamah, for their service.
Many families make a
supplement which they use in addition to the Kol HaNeshamah. A supplement contains poems and readings that
a family may want to include in the service.
A supplement can only be one folded 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper and must be
recycled after the service.
Families who
choose to make a supplement must work closely with the Rabbi and
Cantor.
Families who choose
to make a supplement must notify the Rabbi three months before their
service. Drafts of supplements and siddurim
must be submitted to the Rabbi no later than two months before the
service. Completed supplements and siddurim
must be submitted no later than one month before the service.
Chumashim
So that your guests
can follow along with the Torah and the Haftarah readings, the synagogue will
provide your guests with chumashim (books that
contain the Torah and Haftarah that your child will read) for use during the
service.
The Rabbi or Cantor will schedule a rehearsal with each Bar/Bat Mitzvah family. The rehearsal will usually be held the Wednesday or Thursday before the scheduled Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and their parents are required to attend this rehearsal. The rehearsal is a wonderful opportunity for families to walk through the service together. (Suggestion: As photographs are not permitted during the service, you might want to consider photographing the rehearsal. Please notify the Rabbi or the Cantor in advance if you will have a photographer taking pictures during the rehearsal.) Rehearsals should last about an hour.
Three months before their service, families must submit via email to the office a photo of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah with a brief bio that can be put in the Tekiah. Unless you specify otherwise, this information will also be shared with local newspaper.
Becoming a Bar/Bat
Mitzvah at Ramat Shalom signifies a desire to become a committed member of our
community. All of us here expect B’nai
Mitzvah and their families to demonstrate this commitment by participating in
The Next Generation, Confirmation, and regular attendance at services and other
synagogue programs.
We encourage participation of family and friends in the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service. Here are ways in which you may choose to involve important people in your lives:
o
Torah reading
If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not reading the entire Torah portion, adult (post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah) family and friends may read Torah. If they do so, they must be able to chant the Torah from the scroll. If you will have people reading from the Torah, please fill out the “Torah Readers Form” in the Appendix. This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. People given this honor must wear a tallis and a kippah on the bimah.
Please note: if a guest does not have his/her own tallis, the synagogue has a supply and your Board Usher can make them available to guests if you tell them to do so. You will provide kippot for all guests.
o
English Readings
The Appendix contains outlines of the Shacharit
and Mincha service. In each
outline, there are several optional reading slots listed along with appropriate
themes for each of these readings. These
are places where B’nai Mitzvah families may choose
readings that can be read by families and friends. Readings are used to complement the
liturgy.
o
Aliyot
Adult family members and friends may be offered an aliyah, the opportunity to come up to the bimah and say the blessings that are said before and after the Torah is read. People can be called up in groups for this honor.
Participants must recite or chant these blessings in Hebrew. Instructions, as well as the Hebrew texts with English transliterations are included in the Appendix. Please photocopy this information and mail it to those people who will be given this honor at least three months before the service so that they have time to practice reciting them. A CD of these blessings is available from the Cantor. Please note that at Ramat Shalom, some people recite the Reconstructionist aliyah – which is slightly different from the traditional aliyah. Family and friends who are called upon for an aliyah should say the blessings that they are most comfortable with. Both forms are found in the Appendix. Both forms of the blessing will be on the reader’s table during the service.
Please also inform those who will be given this honor that they are must wear a tallis and kippah when they come onto the bimah. This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends.
Please ask the Hebrew/Yiddish names of the people who are being honored with these Torah blessings, together with the Hebrew/Yiddish name of their parents and fill in this information on the “Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service Worksheet” which is in the Appendix.
o Opening and Closing the Ark
This honor can only be given to Jewish family and friends. There are two places in the service when we need ark openers. Please look at the service outlines and inform adults who will be given this honor that they should come to the bimah either at the beginning of the Torah service and/or at the end of the Torah service. They must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come on to the bimah.
o Handing down the Torah
This honor is usually reserved for parents and grandparents. After removing the Torah from the ark, the Rabbi will pass the Torah to the grandparents, who pass it on to the parents who will pass it on to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This passing can also be done symbolically with each of the participants touching the Torah instead of holding it. Please also inform those who will be given this honor that they must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah. This honor can only be given to Jewish adults.
This honor is usually reserved for a non-Jewish parent or grandparent. While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is holding the Torah, the siddur holder holds the siddur for the child.
o Hagbah and G’lilah (Lifting and Dressing the Torah)
One adult family member or friend (post-Bar/Bat Mitzvah) who is Jewish can be asked to lift the Torah. This requires a great deal of physical strength. If the person who is given this honor has never lifted the Torah before s/he is required to attend the rehearsal. Adult family and friends who are Jewish can be asked to dress the Torah – children may assist with dressing.
Please inform adults who will be given these honors that they must wear a tallis and a kippah when they come onto the bimah.
While the Bar/Bat Mitzvah process is primarily a spiritual experience, there are administrative tasks and financial obligations that families must fulfill.
1. Members must be current in their payment of all financial obligations up to and including the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date. The Maintenance Fund must be paid in full at least 60 days prior to the youngest child in the family becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
2. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families are assessed a Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee of $860. Half of this fee is due in the 6th grade and the balance of $430 is due in the 7th grade. Any outstanding portion of this fee must be paid in full at least three months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah date.
3. Families with Bar/Bat Mitzvah dates in June are expected to renew their membership prior to the service date.
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee includes:
· 13 hours (26 half-hour sessions) of individual tutoring. Tutor hours are scheduled at a mutually convenient time between the student and the tutor. If you need to reschedule an appointment, you must do so 24 hours in advance. Any missed scheduled tutoring sessions will not be made up. If additional sessions are necessary for any reason, they can be scheduled at a cost of $25 per half hour.
· B’nai Mitzvah Workshop supplies.
· Basic Oneg Shabbat and Kiddush Costs. (See: Guide to Holding Your Celebration at Ramat Shalom)
· Administrative and maintenance costs.
· The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Packet and Torah/Haftarah Booklet.
· Relevant CDs.
APPENDIX
TO
B’NAI MITZVAH MANUAL
2007-2008
Basic Outline for Shacharit
Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an integral part of all sections that
are listed in bold font
Song (Cantor/Rabbi)
Welcome (Rabbi)
Presentation of Tallis (Family)...................................................................... Page 5
Birchot HaShachar………………………………………………………... Page153
Optional
Pesukey
Dezimrah: Baruch Sh’amar........................................................... Page
177
Additional Psalms sung by Rabbi and Cantor
Optional
Hallelu (Cantor)............................................................................................... Page 231
Hatzi
Kaddish
Barechu
........................................................................................................ Page
247
Additional Prayers led by Rabbi and Cantor
Shema
........................................................................................................... Page
277
Ve’ahavta
..................................................................................................... Page
277
Additional Prayers led by Rabbi and Cantor
Mi Chamocha................................................................................................ Page
291
Amidah – Avot, Gevurot, Kedusha and remainder of Amidah (Cantor).......... Pages 295-305
Oseh Shalom (Cantor)..................................................................................... Page 323
Introduce Torah Service; call up ark openers, and family (Rabbi)
Eyn
Kamocha …........................................................................................... Page
383-5
Vayhi
Binso’a Ha’aron................................................................................. Page
385
First
Torah taken out and handed to family (Rabbi)
Shema
........................................................................................................... Page
393
Procession
Introduce Parsha (Rabbi)
TORAH
Hagbah, Glilah................................................................................................. Page 407
Vezot Hatorah……………………………………………………………..Page 407
Mi Sheberach ( Rabbi, Cantor)
Bar/Bat Mitzvah D’var Torah
Haftarah
Rabbi/Cantor Speak
Second
Torah Put Away (Rabbi)
Ashrey ......................................................................................................... Page
429
Optional
Etz Chayim ................................................................................................... Page 441
Eyn Keyloheynu…………………………………………………..………. Page 443
Parent’s D’var Torah and Optional Reading (Theme: Important Lessons)
Optional
Aleynu........................................................................................................... Page
445-449
Optional
Kaddish (Rabbi).............................................................................................. Page 451
Board Usher Speaks
Optional
Kiddush
Motzi
Song (Cantor)
Basic Outline for Mincha Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an integral part of all sections that
are listed in bold font
Song (Rabbi/Cantor)
Welcome, introduction to Mincha, Ma’ariv, Havdalah (Rabbi)
Presentation of Tallis (Family)...................................................................... Page 5
Optional
Ashrey ……………………………………………………………………...Page 469
Introduce Torah Service; call up ark openers, and family (Rabbi)
First
Vayhi Binso’a Ha’aron................................................................................. Page 475
Torah taken from ark and handed to family (Rabbi)
Gadlu ............................................................................................................ Page 477
Procession
Introduce Torah portion (Rabbi)
TORAH
Hagbah and Glilah........................................................................................... Page 479
Mi Sheberach (Rabbi, Cantor)
Bar/Bat Mitzvah D’var Torah
Haftarah
Rabbi, Cantor Speak
Second
Optional
Torah put in ark (Rabbi)
Etz Chayim ................................................................................................... Page 485
Amidah – Avot, Gevurot, Kedusha (Cantor), silent prayer............................. Page 489-497
Oseh Shalom (Cantor)..................................................................................... Page 323
Parents D’var Torah
Optional
Ma’ariv Explanation (Rabbi)
Barechu
........................................................................................................ Page
57
Additional Prayers led by Rabbi and Cantor